->-> Why Me <-<-

There are some theories I have regarding how and why this happens in adulthood. There is no research or statistics behind my theories, but rather observations of human interactions. I have never been one who has been intimidated or bullied as an adult. I dont think that makes me special, but it very well has something to do with my personality.

The Victim:

When we are in school it is pretty easy to depict the victim. It is often how we see it portrayed in movies. The individual is "different". This could be glasses, braces, hair color, clothes... whatever it is, a bully can find something trivial and minor and make it into their reason.

Once we get into adulthood, that changes. Sometimes you will find the women who are bullied are those moms who went back to pre-pregnancy weight with no issues. Maybe it is the mom with a new car, or who gets herself dressed beyond the yoga pants each day. Not that I am sure it doesn't happen to those less put together and physically perfect moms, I have seen more so the moms who "have it all" or are "pretty" become the victims. It seems as we get into adulthood the reason for bullying shifts to a degree.

Adult women start to victimize those whom they are envious over. Its like the catty office scenario. You have a skilled women show up and the management like her because she has great work ethic. The other women all of a sudden HATE her and make her life hell. They are jealous. They are afraid that their efforts will no longer appear to be enough. This women who to put it simply.. is better than them.

It seems as if the more you have it together in your life as an adult, other mothers will shame you for that. Since you are not in the bus line with a pumpkin spice latte, yoga pants, uggs and a juicy couture zip up but rather a business or fashionable outfit.. you are now the bad guy. The outcast. Moms will say "I bet she has a nanny or a house keeper. Hell she probably has an au-pair. There is no way she can get ready with her 3 little brats running around in the morning." What those women are saying.. I am envious she takes the time to get ready. I am too tired to care anymore and she makes me feel less adequate.

Moms are shaming other moms for simply doing their best. What they may not know is that mom who looks perfectly together, gets up 2 hours before her children so she can look presentable. While she doesn't need a reason to take pride in how she looks, she goes down to feet homeless people at the shelter. Maybe she has to go to work, and she doesn't have the leisure of staying home with her kids. Maybe she envies you guys in your comfy clothes. However the difference between the two groups is that one is being hateful and the other is not.

It astounds me how grown women can be so vicious. But I suppose that is why there are mean girls. Maybe its just the way it goes.

Now, for the victim... I think they are chosen for multiple reason. Their attire/car or how they carry themselves fitting into one category. The other is their kindness and/or maturity. Mean Girls do not victimize someone who wont tolerate it. What fun is it to attack someone who is going to throw it right back at you. Hell, someone who may be better at it than you. So the mean girls wont choose someone who is lively and appear confident. That would shatter their game. They will choose a person whom they know will not fight back.

However.. as an adult do you want to fight with someone...? No, being the mature one means not fighting. Yet.... by not fighting could potentially leave you a victim of the Mean Girls.

Is there a solution that doesn't require you stooping to their level?